The perfectionistic ethos that ubiquitously pervades American culture is overwhelming. We all face a monotonous drum beat that tells us to be better, try harder, do more... A recent television advertisement from the Human Performance Company Whoop is a useful example. The tagline is "The Best Obsess." The advertisement highlights professional athletes (e.g. Michael Phelps) and their obsessive commitment to self-improvement. Every time I see the advertisement I get angry. I view it as an exemplar of the perfectionistic culture we live in. The commercial infuriates me because it is a window into how I have been shaped by the obsession, scarcity, individualism, and control that animates a great deal of American culture.

When I obsess on perfection, it is not a good thing. I am an addict. I think most people in contemporary American society are addicted to something. I am addicted to controlling people, places, things, situations... I want everything to look and be a certain way. My weight, my face, my clothes, my house... I am very focused on what things look like from the outside. I have struggled with this for most of my life.

When I am in this space, I lose contact with subtlety, right-size humility, and the precious paradoxes that give my life depth and meaning. I mistake the part for the whole, search for the "right" answers, experience total light or total darkness.

Fortunately for me, two spiritual steps I took in 2019 - joining Al-Anon and somatic coaching training - deeply informed how I responded to the tragedy I experienced in June 2022.

June 17, 2022 the house that I lived in with my husband and our four dogs (Casper, Coal, Clementine, and Cali) burned down. I was at a party. My phone was in my purse and the battery for my watch was dead. So, I sat at the party for at least 30-45 minutes as our house was burning down. Did not even know it was happening.

My life changed forever when I got to my car and listened to my messages. I remember hearing my husband say, "Ali, the house is burning down. Come home. The dogs and I got out." I heard some version of these three things.

I got to our house with the help of my friend and her husband. Most of that night is a blur. But, three things standout when I reflect on it. First, the moment I saw my husband and our dogs. Second, the utter powerless I experienced as I stood there and watched our house burn down. Third, the kindness, care, and compassion of my friends, our neighbors, and the fire fighters.

This experience truly shattered me. As I grieve, deal with the impact the fire has had on my family (e.g. how it has impacted our sense of safety and security), deal with insurance... I still find myself embroiled in the perfectionist ethos that plagues us all.

The difference now: I observe my tendency to obsess, ground in my body, and accept the uncertainty of life. I recognize there is a higher power, and it is not me! I embrace the Tragic Beauty of being a perfectly-imperfect human.

Today, I am more capable of holding the two seemingly paradoxical truths of Embodied Enoughness:

• Tragic Beauty: We are all perfectly imperfect beings who shatter to pieces throughout our lives due to universal suffering and human frailty.

• Amber Glow: We are all inherently worthy and dignified being who thrive when we honor and connect with our divine spirit. The moments when we shatter to pieces are of the utmost significance to deepening the connection with Amber Glow. When we embrace our Tragic Beauty, we find our Amber Glow

We are all connected through the universal paradox of Embodied Enoughness. We individually and collectively experience traumas that rob us of this essential truth. Moreover, we ubiquitously receive messages that counter this essential truth through consumer culture and the digital media landscape.

We develop as individuals inside a culture that teaches us to we need to earn our self-worth. We believe we need to have everything "figured out." That we need to hide our Tragic Beauty. That we have unacceptable and acceptable parts, and we must hide our unacceptable parts. This is a lot of pressure. It causes a great deal of unnecessary suffering.

When we observe our imperfections, losses, and struggles. When we live in our bodies and accept our powerlessness, we eliminate unnecessary suffering. When we compassionately surrender into our Tragic Beauty, we unearth our Amber Glow.